Expose yourself to your deepest fear

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Do I have “good time girl” tattooed across my face?!

Apologies in advance, and please skip over this post if you wish, but I have warned you: I am going to have a little rant here…

When I became single, it really was fine – not that it happened often, just 2 or 3 times so far in my life. And I revelled in it! I had the opportunities to rediscover myself, build my self esteem up again, and go on a shagging spree… YAY!

As a free bird (I’m thinking Lynyrd Skynyrd rather than the derogatory “bird = chick = woman”) I can cope with the lack of compromises I have to make, I can cope with my huge king size bed being empty except for the indent of my body in the middle… hell, I can even cope with waking up in the morning and not having stinky breath in my face, or having a dead weight literally on top of me, heavy legs and arms out from which I must drag myself unceremoniously (call me old-fashioned, but beds are for getting a good night’s sleep, innit – the rest of the house is for, ahem…).

However, what I absolutely CAN’T cope with, after having been single for a couple of years, is when there is a chance that I might actually like a guy, who SEEMS to actually like me in return (which he does), but then it turns out that, despite all the good vibes that I’m reading, and our intelligent and witty conversation, that very same guy then turns round and tells me that he just “wants a little fun”.

I mean… WHAT IN THE FUCK?!

You know, sex is really easy to find in this century – it’s practically coming out of my ears (no pun intended). I could dial a few numbers any time of day and get “jiggy with it” with whomever I want, more often than not.

I just don’t want any of them right now. Because I’m not looking for physical stimuli – I’m looking for something more… emotional, personal, spiritual. I’m looking for my partner in crime 🙂

And I know that we all go through different things in life and that sometimes it really isn’t the right moment for one of us, the other of whom may be a few steps closer to being ready to settle down. It takes time to heal from old emotional wounds – I have them, that’s for sure! It’s why I didn’t feel ready to commit, to anyone (even myself), until now. I get it.

I just don’t get, though, how every time I finally feel that I can let my guard down slightly with a guy, to see if it’s more than just friendship, that it just turns out I am so wrong. While I see the potential of a relationship with them, they usually underline that it’s all “just a bit of fun” for them.

So, I’m really wondering, is there neon marker scrawled across my forehead that only guys see that states, “Good Time Girl”?!

good time girl

 

Jojo x

Written content is © All rights are reserved. August 2017.

 

You are not alone

You are not alone

This week has been a bit of a strange one for me… but I definitely learned something from it all:

I am not alone. 

On Monday, I had lunch with a friend who I hadn’t seen for quite some time. He told me he had been fired from his job – he has a little family to support.

Then on Monday afternoon, a guy who seemed interested in me, and who I actually like in return (it’s difficult – I am picky but Luxembourg has a shallow puddle of available men), told me that he “just wants a bit of fun”. It kind of crushed me – which is why I bring it up now.

Monday evening I was told a friend of mine would need to terminate her child for medical reasons. Just awful. Especially as my sister just had her baby and I know how she feels about the little bundle of joy.

Then on Tuesday I had lunch with a friend who is also an ex colleague. She was telling me how sad she is, how every time she sees her friends with their kids, she gets jealous – and how she hates feeling that way. She is almost 40 and has always wanted a little family. She has really bad panic attacks when she thinks about how she hasn’t got her little family yet, and how time is running out for her.

On Tuesday evening I met a friend who had recently “mutually split up” from his girlfriend. He told me that the most difficult thing is the fact that he is now alone. He misses touch and conversation.

Well, I have news for every one of them…

YOU ARE NOT ALONE

I also recently saw this post on Facebook:

Illustrations for the exchange of secrets

While reading through the various secrets of each of the artists models, I realised that we are inherently all suffering to some degree or another.

We all believe at these moments that we are alone… to some extent, we are, right in that moment we feel it. However, there are so many others out there who share the same feelings and self-awareness as we do, but we just never realise it, because there is a stigma about talking of such things.

We are depressed.

We are guilty.

We are human.

We all go through the motions.

And we are definitely not alone.

Just remember that the next time you feel out of sync with the rest of the world – it’s how I learned to cope in some of my own darkest moments.

Have a cry, get it all out, then remember – you are the only person you should worry about judging you. You can’t stop what others think about you, so forget them.

If something really sinister has happened to you, find help and the support you need – do not take comfort in your home, closing the curtains and allowing no one in. The hardest thing is to open up – but once you do, you surely wouldn’t regret it.

Good luck folks!

Jojo x

 

 

Written content is © All rights are reserved. August 2017.

Seek, see, love and do

A beautiful friend of mine found the following on Facebook and linked me to it… I think she could tell how fully I can relate, and I love her all the more for knowing my soul inside out:

I would rather pass my days lying in the middle of dirt roads, staring at the full moon with a bottle of summer red in my palms.

I would rather have kids when it suits me, not when society expects or throws shoulds.

I would rather live in a hammock on a beach for six months, and write like my soul means it.

I would rather be horribly broke at times, than married to a job because a mortgage payment has my ass on a hook.

I would rather own moments, than investments.

I would rather swim naked with bio-luminescence, have it fall like fireflies from my hair, my breasts, my back.

I would rather do handstands naked in the moonlight when no one’s watching than pick bridesmaid dresses.

I would rather drink seven year old rum from a sandy bottle, smell of smoke and ash than sit in church.

I would rather learn from life than rack up debt, in a desk.

I would rather drink the ocean, again and again—celebrate being madly alive.

I would rather my love be defined by love itself, and nothing more or less.

I would rather take the chicken bus, than spend useless money in safe gated communities. Sit beside a goat, listen to raggaeton and eat green mango with sugar in a plastic bag sold from the woman who harasses the bus each time it stops.

I do not need a degree to prove that I am intelligent.

I do not need to own a piece of earth with some wood on top of it—to feel successful. No one truly owns the land, anyway—we just think we do.

I will take a job I love and freedom over a pension, any day.

I will not work and work and work to live when my body is old and I am tired.

Stocks are for people who get boners from money.

Not everyone should have kids, and my eggs aren’t expiring.

I will not drink the societal Kool-Aid on a bus, nor will I drink it on a train.

Not on a plane, with a goat, in the rain, in the dark, in a tree, with a fox, in a box!

I will not jump through societies’ hoops and red tape, the treasure hunt in the rat race we chase.

If we must have milestones—mine will be measured by how much joy I have collected at the end of each day and how often in this life I have truly, deeply, opened.

Seek, see, love, do.

– Janne Robinson, Author

More on Janne here: https://www.facebook.com/jannerobinsonauthor/ and here: http://www.jannerobinson.com/

What an inspiring woman! 🙂 Thanks Janne!

DNA journeys – and how we are all connected

On the subject of “we are one“, this video clip made me well up – we really are all immigrants, and there is no better way to prove it than through DNA test analysis.

Please take a moment to appreciate this truly beautiful insight into human DNA and migration across our little planet called Earth.

When Strangers Meet

#onelove #peace #weareone

Inspirational women: Mary “Mother” Jones, 1830-1930

I saw one quote from Mary “Mother” Jones, and I had to read more on this amazing woman, especially as I feel that I can relate very much to the quote:

“I am an organizer, an agitator and an aggravator. I act because I love humanity.”

Mary Harris “Mother” Jones, 1905

Some of her other quotes are pretty damn motivating as well, and you can see how she could have riled up the authorities with her opinions and “fight not flight” attitude to life:

http://www.motherjonesmuseum.org/information/quotes/

For more info on Mary “Mother” Jones:

http://www.biography.com/people/mother-jones-9357488#synopsis

http://www.motherjonesmuseum.org/

It is wonderful to know that there are so many inspiring ladies in history – it just takes one a bit longer to find them, as they are not celebrated quite so much as men.

After all, it is said that, “History is written by the victors” – and men have been the “victors” for a couple thousand years now.

I believe it’s time to give men a break, let them take a back seat, and put their legs up – learn to meditate and understand that they do not need to be aggressive or preempt aggression with aggression.

#wishfulthinking

Note: I am completely aware that not all men are of the same ilk, or women for that matter… I am making a generalisation based on the majority of incidents throughout history.