I dream that we could have had our own place to call our home, where each of us has our own space, but we’re still together for the main things. We are different people, we can’t like all the same things all the time, so we would have put up with and respected each others differences, because we loved each other.

In that dream I can see you working with children outdoors, and you are smiling, and loving your job. I see myself teaching at a local primary school, and every afternoon, after the school is quiet, and the camp is empty, all scouted out for the day, we meet at home, or you’re off down the pub for a bit while I head home and get started on some dinner, maybe feed some of our livestock, or muck out the chickens. Or vice versa, and I’m having a drink with friends, and you’re picking fresh veg to cook our scrumptious dinner. You’ve always been a good cook.

After dinner, we’d get the fire going, and I’d read a book, or even knit or sew, while you watched some telly, or do some wood or leather work. Then early to bed and early to rise, the day going around in blissful harmony all over again.

We’d make our own cider from the apples in our orchard, and our own pies to sell at the local market at the weekends. Your sourdough bread with all those nuts and dried fruit would be infamous, especially when I plait the dough before baking so they look so pretty.

You’d create awesome preserves, even bring out meat and fish that we’d smoked in our own back yard smoker; the fish caught from the lake down the way over the weekend, and the meat fresh from a lovely neighbouring farmer. I’ve always wanted a goat – it would keep the grass down, and provide milk, which we could churn to butter, or dry for cheese.

…and it wouldn’t be easy, but it would be simple, and worthwhile, and ours. And we would have had each other, companions to grow old together, to laugh at ourselves over and over, the lines creasing our sun darkened faces, reminiscing of the things we had learned together, sitting in our rocking chairs, or hammocks, and watching quietly as the world went by.

I dream that I had been able to say the above to you before it was too late.

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